Monday, January 2, 2012

Rough Road Ahead

I once again have gotten off track. Life has consumed me and the 10lbs that I had lost has crept back. I am now tipping the scales at 276. Its a new year and a new beginning. Life is hard but its harder when you face the things that I do. I have allowed my weight to be my armor, its my protector. My weight keeps me safe from others by making me distant. I punish my self in silence, I punish myself with my weight. I know that if I get healthy and lose weight I will be happy. I don't deserve be healthy or happy. My weight was also used as a way to deal with the loss of my father. He has been gone from my life for 19 years. Its time to move forward and deal with life as a healthy adult.  Its time to get in shape before I kill myself with obesity.

I always make a plan but I never follow it. I am not making a plan this time. I am not going on some crazy diet. I'm not trying to lose weight, I just want to get healthy. I am putting away the scale. I will track my weight loss by pictures and clothes size. Honestly, I know that at some point I will get on a scale but for now its going in the back of the closet. This time I will get the weight off. I have a family reunion at the end of July right before my 29th birthday.  The goal is to be off blood pressure medications and be in regular size clothes which mean approx a size 12 or 14. I am currently a 26/28 in pants. I can do this I CAN drop 4-5 clothes sizes in 6 months.  Before pictures coming soon.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Lets try this again

I wanted to do the right thing and start focusing on my health. I haven't done any of the things I vowed to do. Its funny how a person can make a plan but they fail to follow it. I can say this I may not have followed my plan but I have made some changes. My weight is down fro 275 to 265. I not only work full time but I also go to school full time. My hectic schedule as well as my low self esteem and self doubt has kept me from doing what I need to do to be healthy.
I put my other responsibilities before my health but fail to realize that if I don't make my health a priority I won't be around to have other responsibilities.

Lets just be real working out is not hard. All that is required is 30 minutes a day to get your heart in shape. That's it  a simple 30 minutes. The focus is health not weight loss however if I start to live a healthier lifestyle the weight loss come in the package.

The focus is no longer weight loss the focus is a healthier lifestyle which includes physical, mental and spiritual health:

Physical Health:
1. Making better food choices
2. Drinking at least 64oz. of water a day
3. Working out at least 30 minutes 5x a week
4. Sleep at least 7 hours a night

Mental Health:
5. Reading a new book at least once a month
6. Visit a place of intellectual growth (i.e. museum, zoo, etc.)
7. Read the newspaper or internet articles
8. Have meaningful conversations about current topics

Spiritual Health:
9. Go to church
10. Meditate
11. Start a hobby (Photography?)
12. Commune with nature (Got to the park etc)
13. Volunteer

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Week 1

Being 28 and weighing 275lbs is not fun nor is it a joke. I am going to bed feeling horrible. Feeling worthless all because I am morbidly obese. The worst part about it is, I know exactly what I have to do to lose weight. At my heaviest I weighed 310lbs, I was able to get all the way down to 200 and then over the last 16 months I have gained 75lbs. Today is the first day that I take back control of my weight and in doing so my life and love for myself.
There are a lot of plus size women who love being big. They love themselves and have the confidence that goes along with it. I have never been one of those girls. I have always used my weight as a shield to keep me from doing physical activities or keeping me from others. I hide behind my weight. I also use my weight as punishment, I feel that I am ugly and unworthy so I don't deserve to be happy or to lose weight.  Society is critical of overweight people and I have incorporated that way of thinking into the personal view of myself. A turning point for me was when I went to Six Flags over Georgia and could not fit on some of the rides because my thighs were too big. Talk about an embarrassing moment, it took all my might to hold back my tears. At the end of the day its not about a weight goal, its about being healthy. At this time I don't have diabetes, or any other weight related issues, but if I don't change it will find me and possibly kill me. Change is coming and now is the time for it.

So here is the plan:
1. Eat 6 meals a day to total 1200 calories
   *** Increase protein and vegetables, decrease carbohydrates
2. Drink 96-120 oz of water a day
3. Workout 4x a week for 30-60 mins
    *** Aerobic and Strength training ***
4. Daily food and water journal
5. HONEST Daily blog post about strengths and weaknesses
6. Weekly image pictures
7. Weekly weigh in
8. Weekly measurements
   *** Arms, waist, thighs, and hips
9. Weekly blood pressure check
10. Weekly evaluations
   *** Include obstacles and if/how overcame ***