I once again have gotten off track. Life has consumed me and the 10lbs that I had lost has crept back. I am now tipping the scales at 276. Its a new year and a new beginning. Life is hard but its harder when you face the things that I do. I have allowed my weight to be my armor, its my protector. My weight keeps me safe from others by making me distant. I punish my self in silence, I punish myself with my weight. I know that if I get healthy and lose weight I will be happy. I don't deserve be healthy or happy. My weight was also used as a way to deal with the loss of my father. He has been gone from my life for 19 years. Its time to move forward and deal with life as a healthy adult. Its time to get in shape before I kill myself with obesity.
I always make a plan but I never follow it. I am not making a plan this time. I am not going on some crazy diet. I'm not trying to lose weight, I just want to get healthy. I am putting away the scale. I will track my weight loss by pictures and clothes size. Honestly, I know that at some point I will get on a scale but for now its going in the back of the closet. This time I will get the weight off. I have a family reunion at the end of July right before my 29th birthday. The goal is to be off blood pressure medications and be in regular size clothes which mean approx a size 12 or 14. I am currently a 26/28 in pants. I can do this I CAN drop 4-5 clothes sizes in 6 months. Before pictures coming soon.
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